Internship

01/05/2021 to 30/04/2022. This one year of internship has changed my life. I did expect this but a change of this magnitude, wow. I spent my last year tending to patients with various illnesses. As an intern, I am supposed to learn the management of common illnesses, along with essential life-saving skills. It's been a difficult journey learning all of this. I'd often wonder about the ethical conundrums surrounding this process of learning. Would I be just as eager to learn these procedures on my family members, knowing that as a trainee, I might make some mistakes? Then there's this counterargument of risk vs benefit. Things that a doctor learns at the expense of others will exponentially benefit future patients. Ah, I really hope that the new NMC guidelines of mandatory simulation-based learning are implemented soon in all colleges.

I remember the faces of patients that died under my watch. I was on the verge of falling into the trap of therapeutic nihilism, but then I somehow didn't let it happen. Because I also remember the faces of patients who thanked me for just listening to them and explaining the management process to them. I remember the faces of the patients who we did manage to resuscitate. Yet, it's not enough. I could feel how our arsenal consists of inefficient tools, how we still don't understand a lot of diseases. This one year of internship, despite all the hardships, has strengthened my resolve even further. People are dying every day while we live our apparently happy lives. I refuse to give up against these diseases. We are at war, and we, as doctors, have to win this by hook or by crook.